Three-Thirty

So I was sleeping soundly, I think, last night when I woke up wanting an olive or three. As I was standing there in front of the open fridge door, some questions came to mind.

Not the logical questions you might expect from a finely tuned mind such as mine: “Why did I wake up?” “Why Olives?” “Could this mean I am pregnant?”

Nooo, not those questions. These were much more insidious. Questions like: “Why these stupid skinny bottles you can’t get a spoon in?” “Who decided man should eat bitter, half ripe fruit?” “Red and green, should these be Christmas food?” “What madman said “Hey, let’s rip the seeds out and stuff these little red things in.’?” “What the hell is a pimento anyway?”

Coke: The 20 Oz Dribble Glass

I admit it. I'm a Pepsi drinker. But, sometimes you find yourself in an undesirable situation where Coke is all there is.

It was just such a situation I found myself in at 8 AM the other day. Coffee or Coke products. (You would expect better from a high end car dealer wouldn't you?) Don't drink coffee. Doing without caffeine at that hour is not an option. Coke it is.

So there I sit in my very comfortable waiting room leather chair. Watching the big screen TV with a remote customers can actually use.

Sip.

Dribble.

What? Am I missing my mouth that badly? Not even at 8 AM; just can't be. Way too many years practice for that.

Sip.

Dribble.

Now it's on my shirt. Time to get serious.

Turns out these 20 oz plastic bottles have an insane modification to the screw tops. On the bottle the threads are disrupted by channels on opposite sides of the bottle. If you don't get the bottle in your mouth the right way or further than most of us do, it has to drip.

Has to. Even Coke can't avoid physics.

I can only conclude the person who approved this design saw a chance to stick who knows how many thousands, maybe millions, of Coke drinkers with dribble glasses.